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Everyone is getting hitched!
In the year I graduated college, I knew 17 couples who were marrying, and this year rivals that. Of course, this year has the second (and third) marriages you would expect in our mid-30s, so it's not quite the same. You are wiser. Smarter. Older. You require less advice, so I have exactly two pieces of advice for happily engaged couples: 1. Decide what wedding element is most important to you, and be sure you get exactly what you want. Most of us can't afford the ideal cake, perfect dress, bridesmaids' dresses that make them ALL look fabulous, nutritionally-balanced yet delicious dinner, imported flowers, string quartet, finest champagne andstorybook venue. Choose one (or each choose one) and allocate an appropriate sum to it. (If you couldn't agree on a single element, this second piece of advice is particularly important for you) 2. Spend more time planning your marriage than planning your wedding. Your wedding is one day of your life. It is one day you will scarcely remember except in photographs and others' anecdotes, particularly if you have a large wedding. Large weddings mean you won't get to talk to most people, you won't get to enjoy your nutritionally-balanced yet delicious meal, and you won't get to relish all the details until far later. It is one day. Your marriage, though, needs bolstering. Talk about money. Talk about children. Talk about politics, and decide how important they are to you. Talk about religion. Talk about sex. Talk about love. Talk about life goals and where you want to be in five-ten-twenty-fifty years. Talk about how your in-laws look, because chances are your spouse will look like them in 30 years. Identify what's important to you. Lay your expectations on the line. Spell out your traditions and explain what you expect of your future spouse. Share the secret dreams that you hold deep in your heart, because on days you do not believe you can achieve them, you will need your spouse to believe in you.
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I blog rarely, because I'm busy writing books. When I do blog, I focus on writing, friendship, family, and books. Because my family's best nicknames are private, I use their birth years for shorthand:
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